Monday, February 1, 2010

Life Lessons

I moved my entire life. Being the daughter of an Air Force man, we up and moved every three years. Even in college, I got out in three years (those AP classes finally came in handy!). Then in my 20s, even though I stayed in the same state for an entire decade, I managed to move on an incredibly regular basis. By the time I reached 30, the longest I had ever lived anywhere were four fabulous years in my San Francisco studio apartment. Obviously, I'm just a rambling kind of person, in so many more ways than one.

So, you would think that I'd be a pro at moving, getting settled, making friends, and all that. But alas, no. I was a ridiculously shy and introverted child, which only got worse as I made it into my teenage years. I was the epitome of awkward ... scrawny, glasses, braces, bad haircuts, no sense of style. Oh, I was an amazing creature to behold. I did have friends--wonderful friends, in fact. I just tended to dwell on the fact that I didn't have more friends or the fact that the "popular" people didn't know me/like me/realize I existed. Oh, woe, the teenage angst.

Like most people who survived high school, however, I eventually came out of my shell and stayed out, for the most part. In fact, when I mention to others that I see myself as a shy person, they are usually shocked (though I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing). Anyway, I now have small groups of fabulous friends all over the continent, thanks to my roving, rambling days. And I married a man with the world's largest network of cool riverfolk friends. I couldn't have been luckier. So now our network is global. It's not like we are in touch with all these people, but I know that if we stumble into a town in some remote part of the world, there is a good chance that if we don't know somebody there, we do know somebody who knows somebody there.

So, yay for me. And yet, each time I move to a new town, I still struggle. I want to fit in. I want immediate friends. I crave that close group of girlfriends with whom you can share things and not worry about what is being said after you leave the room. I long for those nights of just sitting around for hours laughing over the silliest things. In trying to make new friends and to get everything that I want NOW, I find that I have been trying a little too hard and coming off a bit desperate. Add a couple glasses of wine to the mix, and you get my loud, obnoxious self making really odd or inappropriate comments. Lovely. So I needed a reminder to just chill, just be myself, let those who like me seek me out and don't try to be everyone's best chum. First, Mr. J pointed this out to me (though his timing was lousy, so it just turned into a big ol' pout-fest on my part until I could relax and realize that, once again, he was right).

Then today, I read Ms. Whimsy's 4 Laws of Cream (I've been stalking her blog for months now, and only just now found these wonderful words of wisdom; Law #2, in particular, rang especially true). And I said, to myself, Oh yea, I remember all this. Be who you are, enjoy life, laugh, smile, do the things you enjoy, and those with like minds/hearts will seek you out. Thank you for the much-needed reminder on that wonderful life lesson! I was seriously on the verge of becoming a big pile of sour cream, and it wasn't pretty! (Though I do like me some sour cream!)

1 comment:

  1. Come joing the "I want friends NOW" club. I'm holding meetings as soon as someone shows up. I've also moved a lot and even though I mentally know the friends and comfortable feeling will come (in time) with each new place, I still have to go through the angsty "I have no friends/I hate moving" period first. It gets better.