Thoughtless Thursday

I thought it was Wordless Wednesday, but somehow I missed Wednesday (where did it go?). So instead I am instituting Thoughtless Thursday. Nothing really to say, so we'll let the pictures do the talking.

Here's what I am craving:

Two Posts in One Day?!

So, I often sit and ponder why I can't seem to drop these annoying 30 pounds that seem to have glommed onto me (through no fault of my own, of course) over the past 5 years. (And it has nothing to do with the fact that I do sit and ponder these things rather than getting out there and moving.)

Let me tell you about my day to see if you can help me figure this out:

First, all I had for breakfast was a watered-down smoothie--I only had a smoothie because we are pretty much out of food (I didn't make it to the grocery store yesterday), and it was watered down because our blender sucks and requires much too high of a liquid-to-solid ratio to make anything blend. But that's OK. I'm trying to be virtuous and good, and I can survive one morning on a watered-down smoothie.

Then Mr. J called from his business meeting to see if I wanted him to bring home a latte from the coffee shop. Now, a latte isn't that bad in and of itself, though I know he had it made with whole milk, because skim milk just isn't in his vocabulary. And I didn't add sugar. So that's all something. But I am trying to cut back on the caffeine. And yet after a week of herbal tea and water with lemon and honey, that latte was de.lish.ous! So I am not going to beat myself up about that.

Then, after a couple hours of work, I had to run some errands (including a much-needed grocery run). So I started off at Bed Bath and Beyond, where I had to return some stuff and then of course buy some stuff, And all this took way too long, so that I was starving by the time I was finally heading to the grocery store. And we all know that going to the grocery store on an empty stomach is bad news. (For me, this is not only because I will splurge on all the horribly bad stuff, but also because our local grocery store is a madhouse and I tend to get incredibly snarky and snappy at the people who just STOP in front of me or completely block the aisle as they analyze the contents and prices of every. damn. can on the shelf. Grrr.) Anyway, I knew this was all a very serious possibility, so I decided to stave off the snarkiness by stuffing my face with Arby's (I know ... gross). As I pulled up to the drive-through, I had every intention of just getting one measly little roast beef sandwich and maybe an unsweetened iced tea. Definitely no fries. But then I remembered about their curly fries. And then I saw roast beef with cheddar, which sounded weirdly appetizing. And then I saw the Dr Pepper, which I love, even though it leaves a really weird aftertaste in my mouth. So I totally caved and got a "roast beef" sandwich, curly fries, and a Dr Pepper. The sandwich was pathetic, and the cheddar wasn't even cheddar cheese; just some of that weird nacho cheese spread stuff (which I secretly like, but still, it's just not right). Of course I ate it all anyway. The curly fries were crisp and hot and yummy, even though I know that if I dropped one under my carseat (which I probably did) it would still be there, perfectly in tact, 5 years from now. And the Dr Pepper was ... Dr Pepper. The good news was that I was no longer hungry by the time I hit the grocery store. The bad news was that I ate at America's Roast Beef, Yes Sir.

My only redeeming grace of the day is that I spent a whopping $150 on veggies and fruit. So at least I know that in the coming days, I will be virtuous.

But wait, there's more. Tonight, I was invited to help a friend finish up her quilt (don't be impressed by me; all I did was stick in some pins and then help hold it all together while she ran it through the sewing machine; she, on the other hand, is a sewing queen). Then all the people who came to help were rewarded with an amazingly delicious dinner with appetizers, wine, yummmmmy food, AND a fabulous dessert. If I had known all this, I might have refrained from the absolutely disgusting Arby's lunch so then I wouldn't feel so bad. No, that's a lie. I knew there was going to be good food. I just didn't realize it would be so much and so good and so wonderful. Silly me. Don't get me wrong--I don't feel bad that I ate great food with wonderful new friends and lots of laughter. I do feel bad that I preceded that with my grease bomb of a lunch (which did come back to haunt me about halfway through dinner ... thank goodness for bathroom fans). And I really feel bad that I slept in this morning rather than squeezing in some kind of physical activity to relieve this haggard body of some of the pounds I keep adding on to it.

But tomorrow is another day, and now my fridge is stocked with all the makings of healthy, healthy food. And our next shin-dig isn't until next Tuesday (a whole week away), when we are having people over for our first "party" ... a Groundhog Day chili fest, where I have already found out that one of our other amazingly-good-cook friends is bringing jalapeno-cheddar-bacon cornbread. So ... where DO those pounds keep coming from??

Feeling Better

Ahh, mood swings. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Oh, that's right. I don't love thee.

The funk has moved on, though the drizzling rain is still here. Not complaining about that, though. Our seven new trees need the water, and the outdoor dismalness is forcing me to stay inside and work, rather than wandering around downtown window shopping or some such thing.

So before the next funk moves in, it's time for a list of things that make me happy, mainly because I really don't have much else to say, but also because I have been seriously absent from the whole blog world lately and need to get the bloggie juices rolling again. And also ... next time that swing is one its way down, maybe I'll remember to cruise back in time to read this happy little list.

My Happy List
Dollar Taco Thursdays
Two-Dollar Fish Taco Fridays
Fresh eggs from our neighbor's chickens
Finding a steal at the thrift store
Eucerin lotion
Mom's margaritas
Mom's lasagna
Mom's spaghetti sauce
Mom's bloody marys
Oh, and of course, Mom
And Dad
And the whole rest of my immediate family
Chips and salsa and guac (it's been so long, my mouth is watering at the thought of it)
The Japanese maple outside my office window
My hydrangea tree (can't wait to see it bloom)
Mr. J's morning tea
Sushi (though I seriously suffer from overfishing guilt whenever I indulge)
Netflix and Hulu
Reading
Knitting
Being somewhat steadily employed
Cooking
Ripe, juicy melons (and yes, I mean the fruit ... get your mind out of the gutter!)
Mr. J (even when he doesn't hang the towel after showering)
Flannel sheets
River trips with good friends
Camping with good friends
Good friends
Traveling
Fresh fruit and veggies
Sweet potato fries
That salami we had in France with that cheese we had in France on that bread we had in France
OK, let's just say it ... good food of any kind makes me happy
And last but not least ...

The Dog sleeping in the sun (even if that nap happens to be on my new flannel sheets)

Rainy Days and Fridays

So, I had this whole long, maudlin sad post ready to go. But I just can't bring myself to post it. My life's woes are seriously not serious enough in this day and age. Devastation in Haiti, ridiculous rulings by our lost-in-time Supreme Court, crazy local legislation here in Boise (and in Greeley, CO ... I'd be lost without my neighborhood chickens!!). The life and times of one Ms. Tara and her family are not that bad. I just hope the world survives long enough for us to sort out our piddly problems and to claw our way out of our financial woes.

Obviously there is a glass of red on my left, fueling on my funk. I think it's time to get up and knit or be productive or at least figure out what I'm wearing to tomorrow night's Naughty School Girl Party. I mean, how bad can life be when those are my major priorities? Really ...

Eight Years Today

I love this picture. I think that it expresses everything wonderful about our marriage, and everything about Mr. J that is so great. I mean, look at that smile of his. Doesn't it just make you want to go out and have fun and love life?

Life is never perfect every second of every day, and there are so many little bumps along the way. But I am so thankful for those little moments of perfectness and so glad that I am sharing the ride, bumps and all, with this man that I love (even when he doesn't hang the towels after he showers).

Whew!

OK, so maybe this prayer/positive thought thing is good. First of all, the plane obviously did land safely and we didn't get knocked down out of the sky by the moderate turbulence (which, in my mind, was the worst. turbulence. ever). Second, a check arrived today from Mr. J's old (current?) business partner. Hooray. We won't be digging into our credit line to pay estimated taxes. Hallelujah. We aren't out of the hole yet, but every little bit helps. Thank you former/current/whatever Mr. Business Partner. Third, my mom's MRI came back completely blank (as my mom says, her head is empty). So we are hoping it's just an infection that the steroids will eventually clear up. And we are really, really hoping that the hearing comes back (though I did say in my little offering to whoever is out there that I was negotiable on that; of course, I didn't check with my mom on that point).

Mr. J always wonders why I get so worried, nervous, neurotic about things like this, because for my family, things almost always work out well. But even just typing that line makes me worried that I just jinxed us forever. Not that he's belittling what could have been a bad situation, but he has such a better attitude. He knows it is out of his control (well, except for the money thing), so he just has the whole wait-and-see attitude and only gets excited, nervous, anxious when the the final diagnosis, whatever, is there in front of him. Actually, even then, he stays calm and approaches it from a "what can we do to fix this" standpoint. Easy for him to say! But he's right, my family is ridiculously healthy. I mean, my 90-year-old Nana just got a cochlear implant. Two days after the surgery, she was doing laundry and cooking up homemade mac and cheese for my aunt. I don't even have that kind of stamina, and I'm (barely) more than half her age.

So, for now, all's well that ends well. As for me, maybe I should start sending some positive vibes to my work attitude, because I really need to get busy and S-T-O-P procrastinating. Really. (And ignore that package of yarn that just arrived yesterday. Really. Focus.)

Dear ... Someone ... It's Me, Tara!

So, who do you pray to when you aren't sure that you believe in God? Lately I've found myself with the need to ask someone out there for help.

First it was the bumpy flight back home. (Have I mentioned I really do not enjoy flying anymore? Could it be all those falling-from-the-sky dreams? Hmmmm, could be.) Then it was a general anxiety about life and Mr. J's unemployment and stress about money.

Now it's more important (and more realistic) than any of that. A week ago my wonderful mom shook her head, got an instant headache, heard a weird whooshing in her ears, and now, suddenly, has 50% hearing loss in both ears. Just like that. So we are waiting (anxiously) for the MRI results. (Why does it take so long? Why isn't it like on House where they just look at the screen and, boom, there's the answer? OK, so maybe it's more like, they look at the screen, come up with an answer, that answer is wrong, come up with another answer, that answer seems to be right, everything is hunkey-dorey, the patient is healthy, and then boom, a new symptom appears, the person almost dies, and then, at the last minute, House saves the person. And there you have a synopsis of every episode of House ever, and yet I continue to watch it each week.)

I, of course, am a wannabe hypochondriac and the ultimate drama queen. So my first instinct is, Oh my god, it's a tumor. Or an aneurysm. Either way, bad news, and get it taken care of NOW. I mean what else would explain that sudden loss, just like that? I have resisted the urge to Google the symptoms to diagnose it myself, something I am usually too eager to do. I'm just biding my time, hoping and praying ... to ... I don't know who/what/where that she is healthy and out of pain and able to hear again soon.

Note that when I do try to pray or beg or whatever it is that I'm doing, I am super careful to be ultra-specific in what I want. First I asked that she be out of pain. But then I realized that, yes, death would lead to a lack of pain. So, no, that's not what I was asking for. So, now I've added on, out of pain, alive, healthy, and hopefully with her hearing (such as it was) regained. But I worry ... am I leaving something out? Did I word it wrong? I don't know why I stress about these things. If I don't necessarily believe in an all-knowing God, then why I am so worried about what I'm asking him/her/it for? Well, I am superstitious that way. So maybe that's it.

Saying all that, I do believe in the power of positive thinking/prayer/healing vibes. I'm just having a hard time making all my thoughts/prayers/whatever positive. My brain tends to immediately start worrying and thinking the worst. And then I worry that I'm projecting that negativity out there into the world, instead of the happy, healing thoughts that I want to send to my mom.

So, here is my prayer for my mom: Please help the docs figure out what is wrong with her ears. Please help keep her sane during her time in silence (even the radio is too much for her right now, and she loves music). Please let this be something that once they figure it out, they can make it better. Please make the pain go away while also keeping her alive and healthy. Please don't let her lose her hearing (though I'm willing to bargain on that one if she comes out of this healthy, with no tumors or blood clots or anything like that). In other words, please help. Amen.